billybeer

Fuck I'm reminded why I moved out of my mother's house 7 years ago. The woman is just unbearable. And selfish. The list could go on and on. Not only have I been sick as shit with double pneumonia, but consequently I've been out of work for the last 2 1/2 weeks as well. And I was really sick, almost hospitalized and almost dead... So I still have bills to pay and need to put food in my mouth. I don't see my mother much, not since I moved out 7 years ago, we had a bad relationship. Ill jsut leave it at that. I aske dher for some money when I got sick, to help out and shit, and she's been giving me money now and then for the last few weeks. Cause I could barely get out of bed no less really take care of myself. So I go out to visit her today, cause I'm feeling better, and she pulls out this book. She kept a running list of every fucking dime she gave me, for all the prescriptions, doctors bills, vitamins, food, EVERYTHING. With the doctors and shit, 512.67 is the total. Then she says," when are you going to start send ing me checks to pay this back?". That did it. Had I known that she was expecting me to pay her back for all of this shit, I would have just as well not taken anyhting from her. And it jsut kind of like, the woman has never done shit for me my whole life, and i thought she was trying to make up for all the shit she's done to me (or not done for that matter) in the past, but im an asshole for thinking that. she knows im broke as shit, and she still wants me to pay her back. I jsut thought that a mother would want to take care of her son if they got very sick. Fuck, if my kids(future kids anyway) get sick, theyre going to be taken care of, and not have to worry about paying their fucking dad money for taking care of them. Im jst pissed at how uncompassionate shes being right now. Its not like she dosent have any money. Granted I probably wouldnt have been able to see the doctors i saw and got the meds i got as fast as i got them because of her, I would have figured something out. Without having to owe anyone fucking 600 bucks. whatever. sorry about this post. its really neurotic and whiney i guess. Its just fucking bullshit, thats all. fucking bullshit. and as per usual I feel like the asshole.