bigwobbles

Im home now ... I guess it was good i went to my sisters now worlk...my usually sunday is followed with a great panic attack .... im trying to break the cycle im gonna get new meds and im trying to stop thinking negative and think im never goiing to have a life or a signifigent other ..i know it will happen but i guess i want it now... I often see my self as a monster but i know now that thinkgs wont get better unless i guess i like my self lately i havnt ... i know this is touchy feely but something weird is happend im feeling better ..im feeling glad to be me.....

a very good looking women a friend of my sister kissed my cheek and said out of the blue... and said "DOnt worry matt its not as bad a s you think"... it kinda made me smile..

alright enought horse shit... peace all...