bigwhelturnsmal

I took a knife to my face tonight. It is 4:10 and I am bloody and awake. I can not longer stand to look at my disfigurement so I improved upon it. Discount plastic surgery, a line a cut a nip and a tuck. Somewhere down the drain my skin cells will play. I just can not stand to see it anymore........

it seems I am in a terrible state and inventing a new designer drug based on speed and the need to stay up all night. I want to never sleep, I want to see the sun coming and going and race around to the other side to see it again. I had a perfect moment this year. ( this really happened )
I was on...
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"You ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?? You know that feeling? The whole country is one inch away from saying that's it. Forget it......" Someone really special turned me on to that movie. She said I remind her of him when I entered into her life. In any event how can a mass produced smile be so complex. I...
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Damn I am fucked up on pain pills tonight. And what band is that I hear playing in the background? Why it is Alice in Chains of course........

I opened a letter it was sealed for years. full of information and poetry most dear. I spilled out the letters and commas, the sentences and the periods all fell to the floor. The question Marks hooked the edges of the envelope afraid of what they may find. The exclamation screamed so loud the glass shattered and cut into my eye. Fragments of blisters and...
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Some things never change. Even at 30 I still feel as if I am in high school. What is it about elitist and clicks? I am as I was then that nerdy little boy in the corner that has now if a few friends and sits by himself. The only difference now is I am well medicated so it tends not to bother me as...
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So Beth and her wonderful children and her husband came in for Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful time with her. She is one of my favorite among my cousins. Her children are remarkable and she and Alan are great parents. Many stories to tell. It made my kinda sad because on the surface I would love to have a child yet deep down I know...
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I want a Bad Girl for Christmas...... Is that to much to ask?

Let me GeT SoMe ACTION From the back SeCtIoN........ Ever feel like a slit wrist, like a coma of desire drowning to the left of the bridge we used to drive on? I am curious to the undertone the moment of the day. I have felt like a car crash all day today. Nothing got down, in fact I am just now waking up. So...
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So I am watching CSI last night and this episode was in an Insane Asylum. One of the underlining issues was the fact that one of the orderlies was stealing meds to supplement his income. What does it mean when three of the dozen or so meds mentioned are one that you are taking. Is someone trying to tell me something?...

Reformating again. This time...
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