** Pulled from girlfrom7thheaven xanga site ***
Truth Hurts
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RULES FOR LIVING IN KNOXVILLE:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name correctly. It's NOX-VULL.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Knoxville has its own version of traffic rules...the Trans-Am with the loudest exhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
3. All directions begin with "Go down to Kingston Pike." It is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end.
4. Henley Street turns into Chapman Highway and may also be called Highway 411. Broadway turns into Maynardville Highway and may also called Highway 33. Cumberland Avenue turns into Kingston Pike and may also be called Highway 70. Magnolia Avenue turns into Asheville Highway and may also called Highway 11E.
5. The morning rush hour is from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Friday's rush hour begins Thursday morning.
6. If you stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
7. Gallaher View Road can only correctly be pronounced by a native
8.Construction on I-40 is a permanent fixture of Knoxville life. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
9. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tire, police cars, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits and crows feeding on any of these items.
10. Three interstates converge to run through the Greater Knoxville area. As such, we see a bounty of tractor trailer accidents and spills. Recent spills on our beloved highways have included trailers full of cattle, liquor, live artillery shells. Rolling Rock bottle caps, phosphoric acid, styrofoam peanuts and the creme de la creme of spills: corn syrup.
11. Do not slow down on I-640 when you get close to the Western Avenue overpass. The KPD parks empty police cars strategically around town. If you are eating a doughnut or drinking a beer, throw it at the empty police car as you pass.
12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the should immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
13. Local traffic reports and Knoxville natives will often refer to the Pellissippi Parkway. You will however, find no road signs marked as such. Pellissippi Parkway is actually I-140, but don't refer to it as that because locals will have no idea what the hell you are talking about.
14. The minimum acceptable speed on Pellissippi Parkway is 85 mph. Anything less than that is downright sissy.
15. Ground clearance of atleast 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
16. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it is 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Dogwood Arts Festival is going on.
17. Knoxville Center Mall is actually in East Knoxville. West Town Mall is just east of Downtown West.
18. No one who lives in the town of Farragut is actually from East Tennessee or even the South. Admiral Farragut was a Union soldier. Yep, they're all Yankees.
19. It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays in the fall as three out of four drivers has had too much Jack Daniels at the ball game and the fourth driver is a cop.
20. NEVER and we mean NEVER plan a wedding for a weekend when UT plays football. That is what open dates are for.
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Truth Hurts
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RULES FOR LIVING IN KNOXVILLE:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name correctly. It's NOX-VULL.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Knoxville has its own version of traffic rules...the Trans-Am with the loudest exhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
3. All directions begin with "Go down to Kingston Pike." It is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end.
4. Henley Street turns into Chapman Highway and may also be called Highway 411. Broadway turns into Maynardville Highway and may also called Highway 33. Cumberland Avenue turns into Kingston Pike and may also be called Highway 70. Magnolia Avenue turns into Asheville Highway and may also called Highway 11E.
5. The morning rush hour is from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Friday's rush hour begins Thursday morning.
6. If you stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
7. Gallaher View Road can only correctly be pronounced by a native
8.Construction on I-40 is a permanent fixture of Knoxville life. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
9. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tire, police cars, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits and crows feeding on any of these items.
10. Three interstates converge to run through the Greater Knoxville area. As such, we see a bounty of tractor trailer accidents and spills. Recent spills on our beloved highways have included trailers full of cattle, liquor, live artillery shells. Rolling Rock bottle caps, phosphoric acid, styrofoam peanuts and the creme de la creme of spills: corn syrup.
11. Do not slow down on I-640 when you get close to the Western Avenue overpass. The KPD parks empty police cars strategically around town. If you are eating a doughnut or drinking a beer, throw it at the empty police car as you pass.
12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the should immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
13. Local traffic reports and Knoxville natives will often refer to the Pellissippi Parkway. You will however, find no road signs marked as such. Pellissippi Parkway is actually I-140, but don't refer to it as that because locals will have no idea what the hell you are talking about.
14. The minimum acceptable speed on Pellissippi Parkway is 85 mph. Anything less than that is downright sissy.
15. Ground clearance of atleast 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
16. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it is 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Dogwood Arts Festival is going on.
17. Knoxville Center Mall is actually in East Knoxville. West Town Mall is just east of Downtown West.
18. No one who lives in the town of Farragut is actually from East Tennessee or even the South. Admiral Farragut was a Union soldier. Yep, they're all Yankees.
19. It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays in the fall as three out of four drivers has had too much Jack Daniels at the ball game and the fourth driver is a cop.
20. NEVER and we mean NEVER plan a wedding for a weekend when UT plays football. That is what open dates are for.
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LOL at 18. Me grews ups in them thar Far-ri-git.