Well, I've abandoned all efforts to become Bib Fortuna. I couldn't manage the bulbous, fucking meal worm growth-wrapped-around-my-neck thing, anyway. That or the scary teeth.
Terrific name, though. Maybe I'll save the name for the first born. Male or female, that little alien (it's ironic 'cause I've always felt babies looked like aliens) will wear the name Bib Fortuna Westerfield.
Most of the time, he/she'll be just "Bib." But, when the child's in trouble, I can shout,"Bib Fortuna, why didn't you clean up your room like I asked?" and so on.
The other benefit of having a child named Bib Fortuna is the "fun with prosthetics" aspect. Instead of having a child, I'll have an art project. Since the kid will be named after a creature with a hideous , flesh-cylinder draped around it's neck like a skin-covered shawl, I can create said flesh-cylinder on days when I have nothing to do.
The following is an excerpt from a typical, low-productivity day, 20 years into my domestic future:
Colin: "Bib Fortuna, since you refused to take out the garbage this week...today, I'm going to make you look fucking weird."
Bib Fortuna: "Pop, I don't want to be decorated with albino, space alien prosthetics. You're causing me psychological damage and stuff. All the kids at school point and laugh and call me Bib Fortuna the Dick Neck."
Colin: "I know, but this scenario is funny and I've been planning it for years. Trust me, when you're older; you'll think this is funny too!"
Terrific name, though. Maybe I'll save the name for the first born. Male or female, that little alien (it's ironic 'cause I've always felt babies looked like aliens) will wear the name Bib Fortuna Westerfield.
Most of the time, he/she'll be just "Bib." But, when the child's in trouble, I can shout,"Bib Fortuna, why didn't you clean up your room like I asked?" and so on.
The other benefit of having a child named Bib Fortuna is the "fun with prosthetics" aspect. Instead of having a child, I'll have an art project. Since the kid will be named after a creature with a hideous , flesh-cylinder draped around it's neck like a skin-covered shawl, I can create said flesh-cylinder on days when I have nothing to do.
The following is an excerpt from a typical, low-productivity day, 20 years into my domestic future:
Colin: "Bib Fortuna, since you refused to take out the garbage this week...today, I'm going to make you look fucking weird."
Bib Fortuna: "Pop, I don't want to be decorated with albino, space alien prosthetics. You're causing me psychological damage and stuff. All the kids at school point and laugh and call me Bib Fortuna the Dick Neck."
Colin: "I know, but this scenario is funny and I've been planning it for years. Trust me, when you're older; you'll think this is funny too!"
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
i know what you mean about the same conversations over and over.....
you actually have a life, so sg probably isn't really "necessary" for you----unlike some of us. lol
once i find a job, i'm sure my patience for this sort of thing will fade as well.
i'd love to hear from you via email some time if you feel like saying hello!