I've finally succumbed to the reality of my vampyrism. I don't mean this in any sort of goth or fashionable way...more in a legitimately porphyric way. 
Sunlight is poison. I misplaced my sunglasses a week ago and was forced to go out into daylight without them. I felt like a mole emerging from a burrow after an entire life spent in soil strata...all confused and blinky, wishing to return to my family of pale, soft-skinned, subterranean inhabitants.
It's clearly a genetic issue. I'm the progeny of cold-weather people. We wore skirts and saw a great deal of rain and fog in our day. I'm probably related to Christopher Lee somehow. Maybe I am Christopher Lee.
I sometimes picture myself as an old man at the beach, sitting under some parasol/umbrella apparatus, wearing long pants and a sweater. My face like Marcel Marceau's. A visual representation of the American Cancer Society's guidelines. Kind of like The Island of Doctor Moreau, minus the genetic abominations and the mu mu.
This is nature's way of saying, "You need to live near a marine layer or snow." Seven months 'til Santa Monica, wish it was the U.K.
For now, I'll watch Sleepy Hollow and dream of England.
Sunlight is poison. I misplaced my sunglasses a week ago and was forced to go out into daylight without them. I felt like a mole emerging from a burrow after an entire life spent in soil strata...all confused and blinky, wishing to return to my family of pale, soft-skinned, subterranean inhabitants.
It's clearly a genetic issue. I'm the progeny of cold-weather people. We wore skirts and saw a great deal of rain and fog in our day. I'm probably related to Christopher Lee somehow. Maybe I am Christopher Lee.
I sometimes picture myself as an old man at the beach, sitting under some parasol/umbrella apparatus, wearing long pants and a sweater. My face like Marcel Marceau's. A visual representation of the American Cancer Society's guidelines. Kind of like The Island of Doctor Moreau, minus the genetic abominations and the mu mu.
This is nature's way of saying, "You need to live near a marine layer or snow." Seven months 'til Santa Monica, wish it was the U.K.
For now, I'll watch Sleepy Hollow and dream of England.
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William Shakespeare was a pussy.
He makes me cry.
Where the fuck are my slippers?
Yes, the brown ones, have you ever seen me wear any other slippers?
No, I'm not mad, that was just a stupid question.
Did I say YOU are stupid?
What do you mean I make you feel?
How can I make --