Today, while fighting through the hordes of underwashed & unemployable, I was offered a parking ticket by a bloke with a claw for a hand. He held the ticket in his hand, and I almost managed not to stare. Almost. Just around the corner from him I observed two different people with incredibly bad squints/ bogeyes. I'd barely recovered from that sensory overload when an old girlfriend said hello and I had to double-take cos she'd lost about 14lbs, stopped the goth thing, bought a nice suit and looked fantastic. Then as I drove home I passed another ex who'd decided to go for heroin chic and was pushing a ratty little pushchair complete with nascent chav. What a weird afternoon.