bibs

ok so theres these two dudes.....lets call them Jere and Matt...Matt has a sister, Tonya..but forget about Tonya for the time being, lets just focus on Jere and Matt. Jere and Matt are in a death metal band together called, 'Giving Them Hell'. they rock out petty hard,but no one really cares. one night Jere and Matt go to a party. perhaps Matt had a little too much to drink, cause he ended up sleeping with Jere's girlfriend...ooops. well you know how those death metal band guys are...'fuck you man i'm leaving the band and starting my own uber death metal band!' and so Jere went off and started 'Virgin Death'.
enter Joel.
Joel joins up with Matt in 'Giving Them Hell'. meanwhile Jere's so pissed that Matt could do this to him that he puts on his 'Motorhead' albums (remember Lemmy is god) for a little inspiration and cranks out more than an albums worth or angry lyrics directed at Matt. 'Virgin Death' goes off to the studio to record. well while Jere had been venting, so had Matt, so off to the studio goes 'Giving Them Hell'
out comes the albums!! Matt's band 'Giving Them Hell' seems to sit well with the masses, and the girls cant get enough of pretty boy Joels good looks and super metal voice. 'Virgin Death' gains a respectable following(how could they not with Jere's Lemmy-esque voice), but remains a bit more underground. Matt and Joel tend to take jabs at Jere's super metal anger during their live shows, now the fans are curious. meanwhile at 'Virgin Death' shows Jere's doing the same thing to Matt, and now their fans are curious.
enter the cross over
'Virgin Death' fans start to check out 'Giving Them Hell' and vice versa. most of the fans stick to their band(even if they do like the other) and the feud begins.
during 'Giving Them Hells' live shows Joel is known for smashing his head through the bass drum. 'Virgin Death' takes this oppurtunity to poke fun and release a shirt that says 'Heads are for Banging not Smashing' well naturaly 'Giving Them Hell' releases their own shirt that says 'Proudly Smashing Since 1999'
the group of fans that enjoy both bands and the insane drama that goes along with them but BOTH shirts and wear them to the others show...ooo bitchslap.
Matt obviously feels bad for what he did, but he cant change the past so he thinks Jere should just deal with it. Jere obviously misses his buddy Matt and finally decided bros before hos and the two kiss and make up. they even go on tour together!
enter Tonya(Matt's sister)
Joel starts dating Tonya, and cheats on her, pissing off Matt. Matt now hates Joel and says fuck 'Giving Them Hell' i'm gonna start my own band(hmmmm where have we heard this before....) and Matt and Tonya go off and form the really really really death metal band 'Stray Cat Sacrifice'
note that even though Joel really doesnt having anything to do with the Jere and Matt drama he still hates 'Virgin Death'
also note that Tonya cant sing and the only reason she's in 'Stray Cat Sacrifice' is because Matt's mum made him let her in the band.
also note that a certain 'Stray Cat Sacrifice' show they cover one of the greatest 'Virgin Death' songs called 'Please Kill Michelle" and mid way through the son Jere comes out and sings it with Matt and the crowd goes wild!!!!! then Tonya fucks up the round at the end cause shes a tone deaf cunt and i hope her vocal cords rot out.
also note that at the end of the song mentioned above Matt pokes fun at the crowds reaction to Jere being there by saying 'does anybody want a piece of Jere's gum?' *the chics go wild* '....i knew you would'


and thats why thats on my voicemail

wow writing that really lifted my spirits.....thank you emo gods!