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bhavok

Pennsylvania

Member Since 2006

Followers 166 Following 204

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Friday May 09, 2008

May 9, 2008
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It's kind of the way Ive been feeling lately.. Like a green m&m in a bowl full of red m&m's.. Yes I know I just compared candy to my mental state, but really that's the only way I can metaphore the way I've been feeling.. frown

So Ive been trying to cut out the amount of sugar I've been ingesting.. Ive been drinking massive amounts of water a day, and really on using alot of sugar in the one cup of coffee I drink a day.. Now if I could start eating healthier, I'd prolly be a little better off..

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I'm in the search of a new place to live.. I wanna move, have a change in my life.. For once not feel like I'm doing nothing with my life.. But I was talking to my brother about this, and he just laid a huge guilt trip on me.. If you dont know, my brother is more of a father to me, then a bigger brother.. And his son, my nephew, is awesome.. I cherrish the moments with that kid, everytime I get.. He always exstatic when I go to my brother's house.. He runs up and wraps his arms around my legs, gives me sloppy little kid cookie faced kisses.. Can I really leave that behind? Leave my brother, and my nephew & sister in law behind.. And move away?.. I dont know.. I'm tired of feeling immobile, and I want to start living for once, know.. Ever since my trip to Hawaii, it's kind of changed me on my outlook about life, or atleast started the wheels turning on that subject.. This world is so frigging huge, I'm just a little green m&m in a big bowl of m&m's.. This is really one of the most time in my life when I felt alive.. Here's some pictures from the volcano in Hawaii, and just sitting atop it for hours and just looking out into the Pacific Ocean.. It's one of the most tranquil moments I've ever felt..

Nothing but you, nature & your thoughts



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And anyone familiar with south park the movie & super mario brothers will find this video amusing..



Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

VIEW 25 of 63 COMMENTS
kellymonroe:
too sweet!!
May 19, 2008
merlowe:
I love nature also I am from PA too and I didn't leave til I was in my 30's and now I have lived in Vermont, drove cross country (uprooted my family) now live in Wyoming soon to be SD, but I am a little bit of a late bloomer gypsy...don't be like me and wait til you have a family of your own in tow...as they say "go sow your oats" You won't know what you really want and need til you subject yourself to change!!
May 19, 2008

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