I have these random days of extreme anxiety for no particular reason. I hate it. I feel crazy and ridiculous which only makes it worse. Is there any way to break this trend? I'm so absolutly sick of it...

And I can't figure out my extreme aversion to men. I can think of instances that would make it worse but I just don't understand how I can hate them THIS much. I don't want to hate men. In fact, I would really like to like men more than I do. It would be nice to have intimate moments with men where I'm not comparing their bodies to women. It would be nice to actually desire a man for being a man again. But no. I just keep trying and trying to like men and it keeps failing. But it's not like I haven't been able to like men before and enjoy it thoroughly. I've just become so hopelessly bitter at the idea that men are only after women for sex....they only see us as animals. And I don't know how I've gotten myself so deeply involved in that thought that I can not overcome it, even for those that I know are not that way.

*sigh*