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bettybruises

Member Since 2008

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Thursday Jun 23, 2011

Jun 23, 2011
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Quick derby update:
I worked my first WFTDA Sanctioned bout last weekend, and my second WFTDA Regulation bout biggrin with Angel City Derby Girls. Haven't got my eval for either game from our head NSO, but was told that "I owned" the position I worked, which of course makes me feel all goofy and proud smile

Candle shop update: still workin on my damn logo, but we should see something up soon

However this blog isn't about derby, or candles, or the other business I am wanting to start or the boring job I wish I could quit.

This blog is about something that has always kind of been an issue for me.
It's about women, what makes a real woman?, it's about bodies and it's about how

There is no wrong way to have a body




Excuse me while I throw this down, Im old and cranky and tired of hearing the idiocy repeated by people who ought to know better.

"Real women do not have curves." Real women do not look like just one thing.

Real women have curves, and not. They are tall, and not. They are brown-skinned, and olive-skinned, and not. They have small breasts, and big ones, and no breasts whatsoever.

Real women start their lives as baby girls. And as baby boys. And as babies of indeterminate biological sex whose bodies terrify their doctors and families into making all kinds of very sudden decisions.

Real women have big hands and small hands and long elegant fingers and short stubby fingers and manicures and broken nails with dirt under them.

Real women have armpit hair and leg hair and pubic hair and facial hair and chest hair and sexy moustaches and full, luxuriant beards. Real women have none of these things, spontaneously or as the result of intentional change. Real women are bald as eggs, by chance and by choice and by chemo. Real women have hair so long they can sit on it. Real women wear wigs and weaves and extensions and kufi and do-rags and hairnets and hijab and headscarves and hats and yarmulkes and textured rubber swim caps with the plastic flowers on the sides.

Real women wear high heels and skirts. Or not.

Real women are feminine and smell good and they are masculine and smell good and they are androgynous and smell good, except when they dont smell so good, but that can be changed if desired because real women change stuff when they want to.

Real women have ovaries. Unless they dont, and sometimes they dont because they were born that way and sometimes they dont because they had to have their ovaries removed. Real women have uteruses, unless they dont, see above. Real women have vaginas and clitorises and XX sex chromosomes and high estrogen levels, they ovulate and menstruate and can get pregnant and have babies. Except sometimes not, for a rather spectacular array of reasons both spontaneous and induced.

Real women are fat. And thin. And both, and neither, and otherwise. Doesnt make them any less real.

There is a phrase I wish I could engrave upon the hearts of every single person, everywhere in the world, and it is this sentence which comes from the genius lips of the grand and eloquent Mr. Glenn Marla:

There is no wrong way to have a body.


Im going to say it again because its important: There is no wrong way to have a body.

And if your moral compass points in any way, shape, or form to equality, you need to get this through your thick skull and stop with the real women are like such-and-so crap.

You are not the authority on what real human beings are, and who qualifies as real and on what basis. All human beings are real.

Yes, I know youre tired of feeling disenfranchised. It is a tiresome and loathsome thing to be and to feel. But the tit-for-tat disenfranchisement of others is not going to solve that problem. Solidarity has to start somewhere and it might as well be with you and me.




It's a lesson that took me a while to learn, and a lesson I frequently have to relearn.

It's something that was posted on one of my groups on here and I thought you all might agree (or not), regardless, it's something I think everyone needs to read and a lesson I wish every little girl could learn from day one.

Here's the original blog post

*****For the record I think it's really interesting that this only got commented on by men within 24 hours of posting (I also posted it on my Facebook, guess which gender responded more favorably and quicker? Maybe it's time we stop blaming men for all our shit ladies. Regardless of who caused our shitty self images, maybe we should quit trying to locate blame and start trying to find a solution... Just a thought.****

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ribbonsundone:
FANTABULOUS!! AMEN!! I am so sending this to everyone I know and x-posting for my students. Oh, yesh!!
Jun 24, 2011
gigondas:
Indeed.
Jun 26, 2011

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