bettina

I can't remember the last time I felt this awful. I didn't even feel this bad on Wednesday, when my house was broken into and some of my stuff was taken. Because then I thought "phew, good thing I bought insurance." It was getting effed in the A by the insurance people today that really makes me feel like a victim. A curl-up-and-die, never go outside again, this-is-the-end alarmist. I don't care that some poor kid or junkie took my camera and my money, because they are probably in a worse situation than me, and really needed the money. But the insurance company isn't suffering. Because they have my money too, and everyone else's, and they aren't giving it back. If I had never bought insurance, and been robbed, I would still be ahead of the game.
Now not only do I have no camera to shoot sets with, but I still owe money on the camera. And the spending money I had saved for my upcoming trip to LA is gone now too. How am I supposed to put on a good performance at the Fetish show tonight?
Good thing they didn't steal my easter chocolate, because I just ate the whole bunny to calm me down, and I think there's another piece somewhere with a short life-span. Someone's going to come home to find me lying passed out on the ground, with a little bloated belly, surrounded by wrappers and chocolate smeared on my smiling lips.
Does anyone have any good fundraising ideas? Besides working 6 days a week, which is already happening?




PS next time I'll try to be more upbeat, I hate pity parties......if there was an icon for trying to smile, it would go here.