(this was written last night)
I wish I had weed right now. I miss being able to toke up with my bong right in bed and enjoy myself and relax. None of this hoving over my little chillum in my car hoping that my boyfriend’s parents don’t see me smoking in their drive-way. my car is my only source of privacy, the only place where I can be alone and the rules are my rules, you can’t be mean to me when i’m in my car or i’ll run you over. right now i’m out of weed, so tomorrow morning i’ll be cleaning out my peach ring looking pipe and it’ll look like a long black foul turd coming out of the mouth piece and then I’ll put that shit back on the other side and smoke that resin till I give less of a fuck about not having weed. That is the definition of a desperate stoner in my eyes.
I remember the first time I smoked weed. I was in Minneapolis for a week “collaborating” with a musician friend I knew. He had just gotten an order from California and he had a vaporizer and I remember the excitement in his eyes when he said, “do you want to get high and listen to my cd?” He was the wisest person in my eyes, I had to do it. I remember he had me breath in that bag and hold it in and I didn’t feel anything really. We sat back and he put his band’s album into the XBox 360. I felt myself sink into the bed but it felt like I was also nose diving under water. The colors of the visualizer swirled into a tunnel and I was paralyzed into one of the biggest trips of my life. It fell like I was falling and swimming in the music. The words were clearer and the instruments had more meaning. He actually had a system of writing his music, the smoother the “fall” while watching his XBox visualizer, the better the music and he was right. I spent a lot of time after that testing music to see what had a better fall. I wanted to fall all the time. And that’s how I became a stoner.
i wish i could get my mom high. i want her to experience what i did. i don’t know exactly what i’d have her do. i’d get out my vape and have her do a bag and maybe we’d listen to music and look at art. i got my baby sister high and it didn’t really ever work out for her. i always got her TOO high and then she’d get mopey and fall asleep on me. I remember one time I got some Blue Dream and I came and visited home. Sonya and I got in my car and we went to the park to swing on the swings. I smoked two bowls and had the time of my life, swinging while high is the same thrill as riding a roller-coaster and I will fight you if you disagree with me. So while I’m screaming and squealing on my swing, my sister who also smoked two bowls with me is slumped in her swing trying to hang onto the world for dear life. She hates weed now. So really my parents should be thanking me.
