bettejean

Well, I'm alive.

I feel terrible for not posting but I really have had difficulty bringing myself to SG and sharing my life. I'm in a place right now where if I list off all the bad things going on in my life I'd probably lose it. But I love all of you on here and I know this community is the perfect support for me.

So what's been going on?

I'm separating from Ryan which is the big thing going on right now. It will mean that I'm pretty much starting my life over. I don't know if I'll have a car anymore, I will probably lose all my friends that I've known for 6 or more years, I won't have my cats anymore for sure, and I may have to either transfer to a store that is closer to where I am now because I can't afford all the gas to get to my work, or I'll have to find a new job all together, which really really sucks because I have the best job I've ever had in my life as a beauty adviser.
My mental health is on the edge and I'm dangling my feet. Finally figured out with my doctor that I'm bipolar and we're taking the steps in medication to help me with that and my high stress life at the moment.

I'm living life a day at a time. Each week I have $50 to live off of, that include gas for my mini van (which takes $100 to actually fill) food, and recreation (weed.) Somehow I'm managing but you can imagine it's rough. I'm definitely learning the difference between wants, needs, and absolutely needs.

I'm living in a place with no internet and I don't have a computer with me anyways. I'm bringing my iPod with me today so hopefully I can be on more but yeah lately I'll maybe get to touch the internet twice a week. So I've been reading magazines, watching movies (I swear I've watched Finding Nemo 5 times in the last week and a half.) To all who have sent me messages, thank you I think of all of you all the time, and you are missed.

I don't have much else to add at the moment, please send good vibes, I'll try to check here more because I miss you guys so much.