Christmas is coming, guys. I don't know if you're aware of that.
When I was a kid Thanksgiving was the start of a month of being good. If me or my sisters acted up the one thing that would shut us up and make us behave was "Santa's watching." Shiiiit. You know how stores and malls will have Santa there for you to talk to? I had it even better because I got to talk to Santa on the phone. That's right, there were times where we were so bad that my mom would call up Santa Claus and we would have to explain to HIM how we had been bad. But sometimes we'd ask mom if we could call Santa, so she'd ring him up and we'd talk to him, tell him what's new, tell him what we want, things like that. It just seemed like the normal thing to do. Fuck lists! (Though we did write lists too, just to cover all the bases.) So we talked to Santa during our childhood and that was that.
Now, you may be wondering, "Who the fuck was she talking to?" Well, the voice was super deep, it sounded like the real Santa Claus. He could sing the Grinch song perfectly.
Well, I don't know about your moms, but my mom does not like to lie. However, she has no problem stretching the truth. Like, one time I didn't want to go cheer at a basketball game, I wanted to go to a party. That very day a little old lady from my church had passed away. So my mom called my coach and told her that there was a death in the family. After she hung up the phone she looked at me and said, "Well, I didn't say it was the church family." So with that in mind, I'll let you know how much my mom was telling the truth.
In high school I had an epiphany, I don't know why I was thinking about Santa Claus and our phone conversations, but I was. And I asked myself the same question, "Who was I talking to? What man does my mom know that has a very deep baritone voice?" The only person I could think of was her brother, my Uncle Ed. So I ask my mom, "Mom, was Uncle Ed Santa Claus?"....."Yes, but I wasn't lying." You see, my Uncle Ed was in the Air Force and he was stationed in Alaska. North Pole, Alaska. So calling North Pole, Alaska and talking to a guy that sounded exactly like Santa is seriously as close as my mom could get to not lying. I think she did a pretty good job.
When I was a kid Thanksgiving was the start of a month of being good. If me or my sisters acted up the one thing that would shut us up and make us behave was "Santa's watching." Shiiiit. You know how stores and malls will have Santa there for you to talk to? I had it even better because I got to talk to Santa on the phone. That's right, there were times where we were so bad that my mom would call up Santa Claus and we would have to explain to HIM how we had been bad. But sometimes we'd ask mom if we could call Santa, so she'd ring him up and we'd talk to him, tell him what's new, tell him what we want, things like that. It just seemed like the normal thing to do. Fuck lists! (Though we did write lists too, just to cover all the bases.) So we talked to Santa during our childhood and that was that.
Now, you may be wondering, "Who the fuck was she talking to?" Well, the voice was super deep, it sounded like the real Santa Claus. He could sing the Grinch song perfectly.
Well, I don't know about your moms, but my mom does not like to lie. However, she has no problem stretching the truth. Like, one time I didn't want to go cheer at a basketball game, I wanted to go to a party. That very day a little old lady from my church had passed away. So my mom called my coach and told her that there was a death in the family. After she hung up the phone she looked at me and said, "Well, I didn't say it was the church family." So with that in mind, I'll let you know how much my mom was telling the truth.
In high school I had an epiphany, I don't know why I was thinking about Santa Claus and our phone conversations, but I was. And I asked myself the same question, "Who was I talking to? What man does my mom know that has a very deep baritone voice?" The only person I could think of was her brother, my Uncle Ed. So I ask my mom, "Mom, was Uncle Ed Santa Claus?"....."Yes, but I wasn't lying." You see, my Uncle Ed was in the Air Force and he was stationed in Alaska. North Pole, Alaska. So calling North Pole, Alaska and talking to a guy that sounded exactly like Santa is seriously as close as my mom could get to not lying. I think she did a pretty good job.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
keilyn:
ah hahahaha well said !!
jaxy:
This is a cute story.