bettejean

So I got home safely this morning. I've been contemplating about what I want. And the answer is, "I don't know." I wish there were 3 of me to do all the things I want to do and live where I want to live. But responsibilities are keeping me here. I'd like to make plans for the future but I get depressed when that happens. I've learned that I can't say, "if I do this then I will be happy." That makes me hate the present and not care and I can't do nor afford that. So I'm trying to remain focused on what's going on now; business in this town, modeling whenever and wherever I can, and being with Ryan. Those are the things I'm good at and they make me happy when I succeed.

I felt invisible this evening when we went out for dinner and a movie. The people in town that know me still don't realize that I'm blond. It's great to be able to choose the lime light.

We went and saw "Date Night" in theaters and it was a good time. I would do all sorts of things with Tina Fey if I could (beginning with bungee jumping) so I always enjoy anything she does, same thing pretty much goes for Steve Carell but I'd probably just shake his hand.

Here is a life lesson: Be nice to everyone, even if they're an easy target, because one day you might be in pain and that person will be the only one with vicodin. A hard lesson Ryan is learning right now. He pulled a neck muscle and the pain is going all the way down into his back and it's been either cramping or very uncomfortable and he's having problems sleeping because he can't find a comfortable position. He's gone to the chiropractor twice but it's not doing anything. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it.

Thank you everyone again for the wonderful comments on my set QK487 you are all very encouraging