first, to my new friends, id like to say: welcome to my house of FUN! wuhahahahahahahha....
no, really. i'm boring.
i guess i do have some interesting things to tell you about my fucking crazy touches with nature last week. it all started on thursday last. it was early in the morning and i was outside talking on a wireless phone (i HATE fucking talking on the phone). all of a sudden, two of the loudest explosions i'd heard and two radioactive-like flashes of light occurred right before my eyes. likewise, two electrical currents surged through the phone i was using. there was a haze of black smoke after the event and i could barely see the fucking SQUIRREL that jumped on the power line and electrocuted itself twice, in turn shocking me and knocking out the power to my house. my 94 year old neighbor, a world champion squash player mind you, came over and bare-handedly picked the squirrel up by its tail, saying "yup, this sucker got fried."
as if that wasn't enough, there is an animal resembling sasquatch roaming my backyard. it cannot be decided whether it is a beaver, ground hog, or raccoon but all of those who have spotted the monster claim that it is well beyond the average size for any of those animals. they also claim it to live in the haunted tool shed on the edge of the property. well, mr. sasquatch, you have fun now ya' hear? make yourself useful and eat the fucking ghosts
no, really. i'm boring.
i guess i do have some interesting things to tell you about my fucking crazy touches with nature last week. it all started on thursday last. it was early in the morning and i was outside talking on a wireless phone (i HATE fucking talking on the phone). all of a sudden, two of the loudest explosions i'd heard and two radioactive-like flashes of light occurred right before my eyes. likewise, two electrical currents surged through the phone i was using. there was a haze of black smoke after the event and i could barely see the fucking SQUIRREL that jumped on the power line and electrocuted itself twice, in turn shocking me and knocking out the power to my house. my 94 year old neighbor, a world champion squash player mind you, came over and bare-handedly picked the squirrel up by its tail, saying "yup, this sucker got fried."
as if that wasn't enough, there is an animal resembling sasquatch roaming my backyard. it cannot be decided whether it is a beaver, ground hog, or raccoon but all of those who have spotted the monster claim that it is well beyond the average size for any of those animals. they also claim it to live in the haunted tool shed on the edge of the property. well, mr. sasquatch, you have fun now ya' hear? make yourself useful and eat the fucking ghosts
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
erica:
Nice hanging out with you and the boy last night! Have a great trip.
recipeforhate:
aww, you're lovely.