bess

Holy flamin feline feces, batman!

Yah, so we went to the club, right, and I meet this guy who plays in a band. He looks a lot like Rob, so I'm all about it, right? Anyway, it's 2:30 and he says, "Wanna go get breakfast?" So I'm like, "Bitchin'! Yah, I'll go get breakfast." Dar wanted to go back to her car, so I dropped her off and met Pseudo-Rob at Coney.

I think he thought I was a hooker.

He kept groping me and looking at me, so I kept pushing him away and saying, "What?" I was getting uncomfortable, so I started asking questions about his job and the band and such. He just answered with very vague sort of things and kept hugging me. So I said, "You're an awfully affectionate person," and he goes, "You're all ready questioning me on my affection?" I mean, I'm not a prude, but I only knew him for three hours! I said, "Well, yeah. I just met you. It strikes me as a little odd that you're all ready feeling me up."

Then it dawns on me. I'm a Catholic girl. I'm naive and gulliable. I'm not on a breakfast-hey-you-seem-cool-let's-chat-and-get-to-know-each-other outing. I'm turning a trick! So I said, "I should really go. I have to go feed the dog." (I don't have a dog.) And I booked! I got in my car and giggled the whole way home.

This will most definitely go down in the books as the day I almost became a hooker.

Now that I think about it, I really should have charged him fifty bucks...