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bess

Member Since 2003

Followers 8 Following 5

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Friday Nov 07, 2003

Nov 6, 2003
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My bed is too cold to sleep in tonight. I miss Rob.

I have to work in the morning. I wish I didn't. I'd rather sit home and mope, wallow and pity myself, but that doesn't buy toilet paper, does it? Speaking of which, do you know that I haven't really eaten in four days? I think I've had a few pieces of salami, a Hershey bar and countless glasses of water. Oh, and a snack bag of Funyuns. I love Funyuns.

That train is so close. I remember being a kid living near the tracks, and I could never sleep until the train went by. I missed it. Here I am back at the tracks.

So, I can't sleep. I lie down in that bed stare at the ceiling. Squee is no help, chewing on the bars like a dentist's drill, and Anju and Soodah just don't care. I tried to find pity with them, but they don't want to cuddle at 4 in the morning. They just squeak and push me away with their little hands. I thought rats were nocturnal...

I can't get over Rob, you know? I mean, it's been a million years (5 months), but it doesn't feel that way. Most of the time, I'm okay. I can function like a relatively normal human being and not think about him at all, but sometimes things come back to me like a song or a smell, and it hits me like that damn train and I can't think. I don't want to think. I just want him.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
_kai_:
yeah, I know the feeling. That dreadful tug at the heart that seemingly never goes away. But it does eventually.(keyword-eventually whatever ) Too bad it's keeping you up at night though.
Hope you're feeling better smile
Nov 6, 2003
reverendash:
Sorry to hear that you're going through rough times. But as Khrymson said, eventually it does fade. Believe me, I've so been there. I sympathize with you.

Stay well! Have a good weekend!

-Ash skull
Nov 7, 2003

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