bert494

where do i start, been a while, am seeing a great girl called Keri, 6 months and all good
we connect on so many levels its scary, but for one draw back,
she has 2 small children 6 and 3, this is my quandrie, i never wanted children at all, i dnt know if i am cut out for being a parent or step parent........... i'm 38 and have tried to get the snip but the nhs wont give me one coz i've not fathered a child, just in case i change my mind!!!!!!!!! so i'm asking this question, why do i have a mental block when i comes to kids??
is it because i am scared to grow up, or am really that selfish that i like to do what i want when i want and answer to no one, all are yes, i'm not selfish with material things i would give my last pound to anyone, and i am always being told i am too generous,
i think maybe i am just supposed to be doing my thing and rolling from on meaningless encounter to the next, not to get involved long term because it only ends in tears, i get bored easily and that is in everything i do from the bikes i ride to the job i do to where i live i never ever settle in one place for long, i dunno i think i'm rambling now and dont even know if this makes sense anymore or at all, but i will go now......................... what to do?