i am so bumed out ... i broke up with the girl of my dreams last week .. she has a teenage daughter ... the black, angry, selfish, controlling, angy, on the road to oblivion type ...
well because life is so hard at home, it's not seriously, it's not, but this pattern of feeling gets a lot of support from her wife beating, critical, negative, jealous father and all her wanna be what ever you wannabe friends ...
well because life is so hard at home ... she ran away ... she had friends that had already run away plenty of times, so she new all the half-way-houses already ... lay down with dogs ... or is that ... birds of a feather?
her mum, that is my partner and i were completely wrecked emotionally, physically and mentally with worry. it is something that the daughter can always hold over us now, she owns all the levers now and knows it ...
well ... after months of being to scared to go out in case the daughter comes home to an empty house ... months of not wanting to go out in case the daughter rings in the middle of the night needs a lift either back home or to the next party ... well after months of putting my life on hold i broke up and it wasn't a happy face.
today i had the courage to read a letter from her daughter that i received last week ... well i am a train wreck now ... i miss my partner so much ... i would have been better off i had not read the letter of course ... the daughter is at that age where, because she has an opinion and believes it, well then it's true isn't it?
the thing is, you CANNOT love someone and not love their children, like a parent does. you just CAN'T. the boundaries cannot survive the blur. her children's problems are her problems, her problems are our problems. you either get it or you don't. possibly people who have never experienced it, possibly people without children, possibly these people won't get it. KIDS without a doubt don't ...
it's just i don't have the strength to keep giving to the children any more while at the same time be on the receiving end of all that negative, black hostility. after six years of it, i just don't have the strength ...
problem is that it's a double whammy ... to protect myself from the abuse i have had to abandon the most beautiful friend i have ever met ... i am 38 now, it's experience, not an opinion.
heart broken and sad, off to the gym now, i do about 4 hours on the tread mill each day, it helps
well because life is so hard at home, it's not seriously, it's not, but this pattern of feeling gets a lot of support from her wife beating, critical, negative, jealous father and all her wanna be what ever you wannabe friends ...
well because life is so hard at home ... she ran away ... she had friends that had already run away plenty of times, so she new all the half-way-houses already ... lay down with dogs ... or is that ... birds of a feather?
her mum, that is my partner and i were completely wrecked emotionally, physically and mentally with worry. it is something that the daughter can always hold over us now, she owns all the levers now and knows it ...
well ... after months of being to scared to go out in case the daughter comes home to an empty house ... months of not wanting to go out in case the daughter rings in the middle of the night needs a lift either back home or to the next party ... well after months of putting my life on hold i broke up and it wasn't a happy face.
today i had the courage to read a letter from her daughter that i received last week ... well i am a train wreck now ... i miss my partner so much ... i would have been better off i had not read the letter of course ... the daughter is at that age where, because she has an opinion and believes it, well then it's true isn't it?
the thing is, you CANNOT love someone and not love their children, like a parent does. you just CAN'T. the boundaries cannot survive the blur. her children's problems are her problems, her problems are our problems. you either get it or you don't. possibly people who have never experienced it, possibly people without children, possibly these people won't get it. KIDS without a doubt don't ...
it's just i don't have the strength to keep giving to the children any more while at the same time be on the receiving end of all that negative, black hostility. after six years of it, i just don't have the strength ...
problem is that it's a double whammy ... to protect myself from the abuse i have had to abandon the most beautiful friend i have ever met ... i am 38 now, it's experience, not an opinion.
heart broken and sad, off to the gym now, i do about 4 hours on the tread mill each day, it helps