berdie

I have visions of blood. Blood in pools, streaks and spatters. I would take pictures of this blood as if to make it look like an act of art. In a way, it is an act of art. An act of art that truly comes straight from my heart. It comes from the deepest part of my heart, so deep that no part of me is any deeper. I gush out of myself onto the floor below me just for you, and me, and that in which is a part of everything. This however is not a gift you are pleased to receive and you send it back. Well i can not put back what has already been let out. Even at my emptiest I overflow with what is always eager to get out. So I withdraw back with in myself. Visions of blood put away, all saved for another day. Its only art to me anyway. I must remind myself once again that no one else feels so strongly about everything as I do, and even though yes in a sense everything is connected it is not in fact an avalanche, and today is not yesterday or tomorrow but just simply today. I would love to feel less, it would be so much easier to survive.