berdie

I think I'm going to be ok. I've been trying to control something that's not within my control. I need to stop. That's easier said than done, but true acceptance is the first step. So I am going to stop, and think, and truly accept. It doesn't mean that what I am going through is going to hurt any less in some respects, but it will ease the struggle. My aunt told me to pick myself up and put on my big girl panties. There is so much to be afraid of in this journey, but I have survived so many tragedies, I will find a way to be ok. This was a collective choice between two people. It was one of the hardest choices I've ever made in my entire life, but I've been informed it will be for the best. I am taking the step to trust those who've said that, and trust my heart in a way too I suppose. I have a lot of shit to get done and figure out, that I never thought I'd go through. I tried my best. Maybe that will comfort the both of us somehow. All I know is that somehow, it will all be ok.

I know I've shared this before at some point, but it's so truthful and it's what I keep playing for myself. This is where I'm at right now, but remember it will all be ok.