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berdie

Vancouver, WA

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 3849 Following 3572

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Sunday Jan 09, 2011

Jan 9, 2011
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So I need to learn not to be so damn hard on myself. I've lost quite a bit of weight since my newest set, and I've lost A LOT of inches, and I'm being very good, but I always find ways to make myself feel like shit. I was revisiting pictures and videos of the past and I was so skinny and looked so pretty and now I feel like doodie. I haven't felt like this about myself in awhile. I know I will and am getting back to where I was, but every now and then that isn't good enough. WTF is wrong with me?!? In my heart I know I am still beautiful, but my mind hasn't caught up with my heart yet. I guess I have something to talk about in therapy this week now LOL. What really sucks about how I feel right now is this: I got on the scale and lost more weight from yesterday and was so excited. I broke out the tape measure and found out I lost two more incehs from when I last measured and was so excited. I checked myself out in the mirror today and loved what I was starting to see. Then I took a glimpse into the past and wondered why I did this to myself. I actually said wow I used to be so pretty, and then I cried. Just thinking about it now, that I even said that to myself, makes me so sad. Why do I have to be so mean to myself? Fuck. This too shall pass. ,
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
tubaart:
Recognizing the cognitive distortions is the first (and hardest) step, and you are clearly seeing yours. Now keep reminding yourself how distorted and hurtful (to you) those thoughts are. They will fade with time. Then the hard part is not replacing them with new ones... whatever

kiss
Jan 10, 2011
gigantits:
Tomorrow is my first meeting since my first weigh in. I have no idea if I lost any weight. I honestly have no idea. I dont feel like I have but I suppose we will see right? Ive definitly improved my eating habits in the last week. I have managed to limit eating fast food to the weekend ( I had pizza one night and sushi the next) but I stayed within my points and opted for more veggies on the pizza etc. I was probably eating takeout 7 days a aweek. So this is pretty good for me! and sushi is like mega low in points too. I havent managed to take my measurements which I wish I did last week. Ill prob start doing so soon.

As for your weight loss, thats extraordinary! Take pride in that ! your insanly beautiful now and before. You will get to where u need to be in no time. smile
Jan 10, 2011

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