berdie

So I need to learn not to be so damn hard on myself. I've lost quite a bit of weight since my newest set, and I've lost A LOT of inches, and I'm being very good, but I always find ways to make myself feel like shit. I was revisiting pictures and videos of the past and I was so skinny and looked so pretty and now I feel like doodie. I haven't felt like this about myself in awhile. I know I will and am getting back to where I was, but every now and then that isn't good enough. WTF is wrong with me?!? In my heart I know I am still beautiful, but my mind hasn't caught up with my heart yet. I guess I have something to talk about in therapy this week now LOL. What really sucks about how I feel right now is this: I got on the scale and lost more weight from yesterday and was so excited. I broke out the tape measure and found out I lost two more incehs from when I last measured and was so excited. I checked myself out in the mirror today and loved what I was starting to see. Then I took a glimpse into the past and wondered why I did this to myself. I actually said wow I used to be so pretty, and then I cried. Just thinking about it now, that I even said that to myself, makes me so sad. Why do I have to be so mean to myself? Fuck. This too shall pass. ,