Well i went to buy a new laptop & got the data retrieval fr free with the svc plan so I am good. Using my new laptop as we speak LOVE IT! Will take some getting used to but it is sooo nice to have keys that actually work so I can type as fast as I want!!!
Had a small meltdown last night in the shower & then managed to pull it together & go out to Karaoke last night. Unfortunetly due to my lil meltdown I had a lot of excess snot so I didn't sing very well. Got a nice drunk buzz going for a while & then I was just sad & drunk. Which is not a pretty combination. So I went home & smoked a lil so then I was drunk, stoned & sad, which is slightly more goofy but still sad & pathetic. sent about 40 drunk txts to the off-again's email. Sure he thinks I am certifiable now.
Supposed to have a day with my mother today. She was supposed to pick me up at 10am & we would go window shopping & then we had massage appts. But for some reason she thought 10 meant 11. So I called her at 10:20 & she hadn't even left yet, so she was gonna be late even if it was supposed to be 11...didn't end up getting here til noon. So we were supposed to get lunch before, but now we didn't have time so...
Oh well this day was supposed to be her birthday present, so if she wants to screw it up, that's her business. Just wish I hadn't gotten up so damn early. But that's ok. After this we are gonna get something to eat cuz I am friggin starving now, then go look at some of the apts I have been looking at.
Once I get home & away I think I might take a nap. Now that I have my new lappytop I will be online later this evening I think cuz I have no life & my friends are always MIA. Very excited to give the built-in webcam a go...never had one of those. Not sure how it works LOL. So I dunno maybe I will head into the SG chat this evening.
Trying to keep my mind off the off-again...and failing miserably of course. Everything reminds me of him. Was trying to relax while getting my massage & only thing I could think of to relax was him. I hate this. I have been friends with him for over 10 yrs now & I have no idea now how to separate my feelings for him & our friendship now. Never NOT been able to do that. But everything is all entwined. Like trying to remove some sort of tumor woven into my brain. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I don't know how I can be around him & not completely fall apart when he is gone. Even tho it seems like there is no future for us (cuz he doesn't want a future with me) I still feel like he is my soulmate. THE one ya know. So what do you do when you find your soulmate/The One, and he doesn't feel for you that way?
Anyone need a spare bleeding heart? I don't want it anymore.
Had a small meltdown last night in the shower & then managed to pull it together & go out to Karaoke last night. Unfortunetly due to my lil meltdown I had a lot of excess snot so I didn't sing very well. Got a nice drunk buzz going for a while & then I was just sad & drunk. Which is not a pretty combination. So I went home & smoked a lil so then I was drunk, stoned & sad, which is slightly more goofy but still sad & pathetic. sent about 40 drunk txts to the off-again's email. Sure he thinks I am certifiable now.
Supposed to have a day with my mother today. She was supposed to pick me up at 10am & we would go window shopping & then we had massage appts. But for some reason she thought 10 meant 11. So I called her at 10:20 & she hadn't even left yet, so she was gonna be late even if it was supposed to be 11...didn't end up getting here til noon. So we were supposed to get lunch before, but now we didn't have time so...
Oh well this day was supposed to be her birthday present, so if she wants to screw it up, that's her business. Just wish I hadn't gotten up so damn early. But that's ok. After this we are gonna get something to eat cuz I am friggin starving now, then go look at some of the apts I have been looking at.
Once I get home & away I think I might take a nap. Now that I have my new lappytop I will be online later this evening I think cuz I have no life & my friends are always MIA. Very excited to give the built-in webcam a go...never had one of those. Not sure how it works LOL. So I dunno maybe I will head into the SG chat this evening.
Trying to keep my mind off the off-again...and failing miserably of course. Everything reminds me of him. Was trying to relax while getting my massage & only thing I could think of to relax was him. I hate this. I have been friends with him for over 10 yrs now & I have no idea now how to separate my feelings for him & our friendship now. Never NOT been able to do that. But everything is all entwined. Like trying to remove some sort of tumor woven into my brain. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I don't know how I can be around him & not completely fall apart when he is gone. Even tho it seems like there is no future for us (cuz he doesn't want a future with me) I still feel like he is my soulmate. THE one ya know. So what do you do when you find your soulmate/The One, and he doesn't feel for you that way?
Anyone need a spare bleeding heart? I don't want it anymore.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
mrdave1369:
you might just need to take some time away for the feelings to settle down before you regroup as friends, I've done it, it sucked but it's a lot better than losing a friend
lectorvyal:
this is tough