People have always regarded my prior knowledge and considerable insight into the field of abnormal psych as an asset throughout my recent descent into madness, but I realize now how it really is hindering my recovery because I have the ability to provide very convincing justifications and/or rationalizations for my bizarre compulsions. Outward rationalizations would not even be as much of a problem if it werent for the particularly taxing combination of compulsions I act on the most. The most prominent feature of my withdrawal psychosis is extreme paranoia surrounding my food or water. In the absence of the proper Howard Hughes-like preparation ritual I just wont eat. Coupled with the near inability to eat is the compulsion to pace back and forth or walk very long distances at a time. Several months of being able to get away with this crap because of my deftly wrought outward rationalizations, has reduced me to a state of very poor health indeed. I went from being an ample bodied zaftig (I looked a lot like Alexsandria, actually) to being an emaciated twig. I used to take medication to help me sleep, but now I now I can barley keep my eyes open half of the time and I have tunnel vision when I am somewhat awake. I have to sit down and rest every couple of minutes during my nightly walks because I have so little energy. My head always seems like its in a fog. I always have this dull ache in my body yada, yada, yada, yada. My sinewy stick of a boyfriend is a holistic nutritionist too so he isnt taking too kindly to the thought of me suffering from malnutrition. Meh, I promise Ill write about something more interesting and less self-absorbed next time, but I really needed to get this all down. 