benstarr

Do you do nice things for other people?!
How often do you do them?

Here's the big question though. Do you do them out of the kindness of the bottom of your heart, or in the hope that someone will 'owe' you, or you'll get something in return off them.

All my life nearly, I've gone out of my way to help friends and family wherever I can. But after my last relationship went to shit and I was treated..well poorly to say the least...i've held back from doing said 'good deeds'. Skip to the end.... I've done another 'good deed' today, and it's been the first in a while.

Problem is, I didnt do it with the hope for something in return, however I did have INSTANT regrets, just because I could see it all going pearshaped, and me being screwed again...Thats not really the feeling you should be getting now..is it?! I totally trust this person, yet I still feel like a dick for helping how I did, and wanted to take it back as soon as I did it.

I dont quite know what the point of what I'm saying is now...I'm kinda lost. But regardless, how about you? Would you EXPECT something in return now...or just hope it all pans out?

Personally, I've got a horrid feeling that it's gonna go wrong......but maybe I'm just a cynical, pessimistic fucker?! Who knows? I dont even know me any more