bennybum

<RANT>

I was at work yesterday, in my office listening to the radio as I typed away, the programme reported on the latest spate of shootings in Manchester, specifically the Longsight area. As part of the report the reporter interviewed a man who stated that Manchester does NOT have a high gun crime rate, and it is only a minority who hold a gun and...
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The heartache that drifts in and out of our lives from time to time can only every be attributed to ourselves and one fundamental flaw us humans all have, putting our happiness in the hands of others, in all cases where emotions are involved it is primarily our fault for letting our defences down and exposing the hidden, most-inner workings of our heart and soul....
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Well another Valentines Day under my belt, the 20th one that i have managed to survive, alone. There's got to be an award for that, surely.

I'm quite reserved and I suppose to others come across as dull and uninteresting but I am nice, kind and good spirited however it all seems to not matter if I'm not loud or confident, even overly so seems...
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I've spent several years building up these defences to resist all depressive urges and temptations but in one night as it grew even darker they came crashing down in a single swoop. In hell and not remembering the way I came, there was only one thing for me to do, stay. Stay in the place that two years earlier I had managed to escape and...
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The sand beneath my feet, a welcome presence beneath my toe nails. The gentle breeze that flies in with the tide and flies out just as fleeting as life itself, a brief yet gentle reminder of Beauty in an Hostile world.

It leaves. The fantasy blends into reality, the cold harsh concrete, like shards from a broken light bulb beneath my feet. The stench of...
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I don't know how to be a friend. A lover. Or even how to be me.

More skating tonight, i think!

The bruises are worth it.

Scabbed nipples.
A ball gag.
Dirty Mountain Dew bottles I've pissed in.
Howard Hughes: You inspire me.
I drink of it.
I imagine I am swallowing you.

Deja vu, repeating itself.
Clawing at the lid of my coffin.
Your teeth are rattling in your urn.

Stretched out paper clips I force through my eardrums;
So as to not hear the sound of nothing.
Its beauty...
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The girl, continued:
We spoke, we went out twice had great times both nights, conversation could've been livelier. I just couldn't seem to let myself go and be myself, myself - who is that, even i don't know. I think my insecurities in part suffocated whatever was there before it had chance to be seen and explored. She was hot and that intimdated me, to...
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God, i hate the calm rational way of thinking that sobriety brings.

Last night i met a girl, who I've hung with once or twice before, except tonight was different. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, i had turned into one half of the couples i hate, the couples who practically shag in the middle of the dance floor with a hundred other...
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