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bennybum

Manchester, England

Member Since 2006

Followers 86 Following 194

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Sunday Oct 29, 2006

Oct 29, 2006
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I was confronted by Nicola whom after reading first-hand these blogs that line my space. She believes it was wrong and quite reasonably upset about it, she believes I made it sound as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend and she cheated on me in the most vicious way. I can understand how it could be interpreted in that way, but not once did I represent myself as anything more in the eyes of Nicola than a Best friend who wanted more. I never represented her as anything other than a girlfriend I would like or as someone who would stoop so low to act on an impulse which she must of known the consequences of.

'All you have to say is sorry, repeat after me I'm sorry,' she asked politer than you might imagine given what I have written, I plainly refused and when questioned why I simply said 'because I'm not.' Why would I be sorry, sure I've written about my thoughts and emotion towards her, usually in the heat of the moment, but last time I checked I can do that, it's freeing for me to write and makes it a little easier for people to communicate with me and vice versa, especially if they can see and feel where I'm coming from.

She acts as if like I turned every single friend she had against her and forced her to leave college. To be fair I couldn't exert that much control over her friends - I simply didn't know them, they didn't know me and to be honest I'm not even sure if any of them liked me. Could it not just be that they were so turned off with her actions, not in regards to my feelings but in regards to the act itself?

There's a consequence to every action, people might not like it but it's true. You choose to betray a friend using his bed; surely you can see an obvious consequence of that action. She asked if I was sorry, I said no, an obvious consequence being loosing her even more - maybe for good! But I'm done with bottling this shit up, other people might not like it, don't read it. Other people might not be interested, don't read it.

Actually, maybe I am sorry, sorry that I couldn't tell her my thoughts and feelings to her face at the time I felt them.

*if you want to see my ramblings you can on my myspace blog.

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