bennybum

So, I have a camera, I thought it would be enough to bring my dream in to reality, guess I was wrong - faced now with even more questions, dilemmas and even greater conflicts all of which are the constraints of a low budget production. There is absolutely no chance, anytime soon of raising the budget and I can count on virtually zero support from the majority of people I know.

Indeed this blog is defeatist and detrimental to the success my project could have however it's just as detrimental to be optimistic about completing it and completing it well that my hopes are so highly built, that the dream finally enters reality and suddenly the realization comes that all those years pining for it, all those tears shed over the agony of having it pulled further and further out of reach was an extended set up for a disaster. Then it's not too long before I realize it's all I have, all my energy, my life, my money has been pumped into this failure.

The idea of doing it abroad, weather it's slightly over the water or the other side of the world as struck my mind; I believe that's probably the best idea. England, to me at least, as this smell, a feel of depression running thick through it's air, whereas somewhere such as the Isle of Man has beautiful green trees and nothing but fresh air.

I have all these ideas, these stories or messages I want to share with people all over the world, fictional and factual, long and short, horrific and romantic, I can never seem to apply them to my crappy budget or to the resources I have at the ready. It seems although I have a fundamental piece of kit, producing my own project couldn't be further away than it is right now.