I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
I've been watching way too much Dawson's Creek lately, after seeing a sale on Play.com I had to have it. Watching the entire first series made me want to relive and even remember all the angst and for want of a better word 'stuff' that I felt and went through from the age of 12/13 to the present and how they relate to the emotions and themes throughout a series which essentially a playground for adolescent angst. The characters are obviously fictional as are their stories but that doesn't mean their conflict, their problems aren't rooted in reality.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic
I definitely relate to Dawson and Joey's friendship at a time when change is inevitable and not always for the better. Dawson is also a film buff who aspires to be a great filmmaker but struggles because of his place in the social chain and more importantly - the world. A small town boy with dreams that seem so far away it becomes a constant battle to keep them in your sights and not sell them out for some short-term solution to achieve momentary peace or respect.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
Yes the tired old subject of Nicola and my extremely bad experience of friendship-turned-lust-turned-love entered my mind, not because of Dawson's Creek and Dawson's dilemma but because it frequently does enter my mind and frequently upsets me and reduces me to pitiful 'what if' conversations with myself. Still no word from her regarding her text message, to be honest I'm slightly relieved at least now we both can avoid the awkwardness that would've followed, that followed Dawson & Joey and at least it can endure a lifetime - in my head and in my dreams.
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
In happier, Ben-related news; I have recently purchased my camera, a high definition Sony pro-digital video camera and I'm going to take the plunge into a dream that so far I haven't been able to get anywhere near. Expect to see my movies, some short and trivial others epic and emotional, somewhere, sometime soon.
I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
One last remaining analytical allusion, I'm 20 very soon, I should probably begin to act like it and stop using the 'love lost and never loved again' excuse not to grow up and be a man that can be loved and will love again.
*Song lyrics throughout this entry are from 'I Want Love' by Elton John.
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
I've been watching way too much Dawson's Creek lately, after seeing a sale on Play.com I had to have it. Watching the entire first series made me want to relive and even remember all the angst and for want of a better word 'stuff' that I felt and went through from the age of 12/13 to the present and how they relate to the emotions and themes throughout a series which essentially a playground for adolescent angst. The characters are obviously fictional as are their stories but that doesn't mean their conflict, their problems aren't rooted in reality.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic
I definitely relate to Dawson and Joey's friendship at a time when change is inevitable and not always for the better. Dawson is also a film buff who aspires to be a great filmmaker but struggles because of his place in the social chain and more importantly - the world. A small town boy with dreams that seem so far away it becomes a constant battle to keep them in your sights and not sell them out for some short-term solution to achieve momentary peace or respect.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
Yes the tired old subject of Nicola and my extremely bad experience of friendship-turned-lust-turned-love entered my mind, not because of Dawson's Creek and Dawson's dilemma but because it frequently does enter my mind and frequently upsets me and reduces me to pitiful 'what if' conversations with myself. Still no word from her regarding her text message, to be honest I'm slightly relieved at least now we both can avoid the awkwardness that would've followed, that followed Dawson & Joey and at least it can endure a lifetime - in my head and in my dreams.
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
In happier, Ben-related news; I have recently purchased my camera, a high definition Sony pro-digital video camera and I'm going to take the plunge into a dream that so far I haven't been able to get anywhere near. Expect to see my movies, some short and trivial others epic and emotional, somewhere, sometime soon.
I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
One last remaining analytical allusion, I'm 20 very soon, I should probably begin to act like it and stop using the 'love lost and never loved again' excuse not to grow up and be a man that can be loved and will love again.
*Song lyrics throughout this entry are from 'I Want Love' by Elton John.