benni

stayed up all night watching shitty, shitty movies so i wouldnt have to dream.

daniel baldwin played some fat addled drunk/dumb sidekick... i recognized him from celebrity weight loss challenge where he played some fat addled drunk/dumb/pill popping fat guy.

why does that show exist?

i worry in the coming weeks that the bed i sprawl on will forget me, my shape coming undone and ill forget how to sleep here...

i worry so that i cry, afraid of being surrounded by people who i dont know, who dont understand or care... missing my pet to keep me safe...

coming unraveled.

im scared of the sweats, and the aching and the lonliness...

terrified of the dark, anymore.

he threw me a wink and asked how work went; i said slow, not a lie, but claimed i got lucky.

a dirty sneer crept across his face, accompanied with a low, dark laugh.

"...hope i can get lucky someday, babydoll."

in your fucking dreams.

you can keep your black heart.