benni

tonight was a tedious night, long and marred by my aching head...

and as i sat in the back room with one of the other girls discussing how perfectly useless we felt this particular shift, she took a moment to throw in how pissed she was about the number of women in the crowd... and followed it up with,

"but benni LOVES that dykey shit."

and i opened my mouth to protest, but as i did, i couldnt help but think about all the girls ive danced for in the last week; the necks ive kissed, the hair ive pulled, the ears ive teased and whispered in... my head in their laps, staring up at them with this knowing half smile as i ran my fingertips lightly from that wonderful spot between their collarbones down to their bellies... and then i thought about how just yesterday i decided to print out a photo of me kissing-- with full on tongue-- one of my best girlfriends to post in the back room with a scribbled "benni is gay" on the bottom...

and i shut my mouth.