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benni

Minneapolis. It's cold, and sometimes it's scary... but i love it.

SG Since 2003

Followers 3557 Following 129

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Saturday Oct 09, 2004

Oct 9, 2004
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we didnt sleep too late...
there was a fire in the yard.
all of the trees were alight...
they had no faces to show.
i saw a sign in the sky...
seven swans, seven swans, seven swans...
i heard a voice in the night...
i will try, i will try, i will try...

i will try, i will try, i will try...


resorting to lyrics when i dont know what to say. i am speechless and lost... every thought... every idea ive had for weeks is broken and lumped together in my skull, like one huge fucking trainwreck that no ones had the time to sort out...

i wonder if there are any survivors.

i think im in there somewhere.

i wonder if ive said too much; too much talking, gutwrenching heartspilling... too much. you forget you have to keep it all inside or you lose any advantage you may have had and they can chip away at you...

and they do, whether or not theyre trying to...

everytime you inhaled, choking on what you thought you needed to say... you should have let it choke you. knowing... not knowing... it didnt change anything. you shouldnt have done it.

needs. wants. you dont know the fucking difference. i dont know the difference.

for an instant things seemed so much more... and then the clarity dissolved and you tried to cling to it...

you always try to hold on to it.

youve developed a fondness for drinking alone. you. you should know what that means, but you do it still...

you reach for things that will fix you and nothing does, but still you try... repetition keeps you sane.

god i hate you.

you need to do something but first you have to figure out what the fuck something is.

youre the one whos going to fix you... so when are you going to take those steps?

last night in your dreams they came from the sky... they took seventeen dollars from you and it was all you had, and you laughed at the absurdity of the distance theyd travelled for your seventeen dollars...

and then you laughed at the absurdity of talking about yourself as though you were someone else. but you did it anyway. and you didnt know where to cut it off.

and so you wait.
VIEW 25 of 52 COMMENTS
elvgrenink:
Benni I just had a dream I met you confused But you kept avoiding me frown I dunno weird..lets you know youre on my mind I guess hehe. Come to NYC so we can cuddle blush
Oct 10, 2004
juxtapose:
YOU SO FUKIN READ MY MIND!
PSG--Psychic Suicide Girls..you should start a group smile
Oct 10, 2004

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