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benni

Minneapolis. It's cold, and sometimes it's scary... but i love it.

SG Since 2003

Followers 3557 Following 129

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Monday Jul 12, 2004

Jul 12, 2004
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i'm not sure what day it is; monday, yes, but the date? i woke up confused and almost fell out of bed. complete silence in my apartment and heavy sunshine coming through the blinds... woke up lost.

i feel sick.

going to duluth today; i don't think today is a good day for this... there's nothing to do up there but sit in the back room and think, and occasionally buy a sammich, which is tasty, but once gone makes me unbearably sad. i loved that sammich like a goat that i called my child.

it's been an odd last week or so. i've met a lot of new people and been lost downtown a number of times; i hate driving downtown. one ways, lights every block, pedestrians who go whenever the fuck they want to... although at night it's very surreal. there's really no one around but you and it's like you're lost in 28 days later... minus the flesh eating super-zombies.

those zombies weren't so great.

just once i'd like to be on time to work. i hope today is that day. i'm going to drive like... a hundred miles an hour and yell at people and flick them off when they impede my forward motion.

i met a girl named erika... we had a long conversation about everything. very strange. we mainly talked about her, but that was alright. i think she was infinately more interesting than i will ever be.

we talked about her issues of abandonment, her eating disorder, anxiety ocd depression... she's not sure she has all of them, but i think she was listing off things that reminded her of herself as they came to mind. we talked about dating and sex... lonliness and midlife crises that happen at 21... bruises you wake up with and wonder where they came from and how much she loves to eat bananas even though she's allergic to them.

i briefly thought about persuing some kind of relationship with this girl; i think she makes me seem sane by comparison... but i don't know if i can handle someone that fucked up in my daily life.

not even so much that she was fucked up, as she was so very very lost.

i have her number. i actually really want to talk to her again. i want to shake her and tell her what to do and that she'll be fine but she has to stop medicating and wake up...

but i don't think i've ever had that kind of pull with anyone.

which leads me to think... i'm in love with my best friend of thirteen years. thank god i'm too smart to tell her; i don't know if she'd ever talk to me again.

stupid gender.

damn kids. okay... if i want to be on time i have to go go go...

hehehe... WAM! gotta wake up, before you go go...

sorry. brief interlude. i realize this was far more serious than most of my entries and i apologize folks... my funny should return and we'll be all games and laughter again...

but every once and awhile. hey. if i didn't throw in a serious heartfelt one, you wouldn't appreciate my lighter side.

have a good day, kiddies. i'm thinking of touching your naughty parts.



ARRR!!! ooo aaa

robot robot!





shocked
VIEW 25 of 76 COMMENTS
feelsostrange:
this is amazing

kenya
Jul 14, 2004
suiclide:
i think a person like that could really bring you down......it's cool that you wanna help out but if you just met this girl it might be a little difficult
Jul 14, 2004

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