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benevolentem

Member Since 2008

Followers 38 Following 108

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Sunday Jun 07, 2009

Jun 6, 2009
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I find myself wondering why? I am working really hard to become who I want to be, but I am not content. I can't understand why I am so childish sometimes when I want nothing more than to be an adult.

Tonight I got off work early. This was much to my demise since I really could have used the money. I have had a tough week (pulled back, 48 hr hiccups, bailing out friends, dogs getting vet worthy sick, etc), but that is neither here nor there. I am strong enough to handle it. The problem is that I went to have one drink to relax a little and ended up spending $70. I know I tip well because I am in the industry, but there is a point where I have to wonder why I lash out. I don't mean lash out in a physical form, but more of a financial stand point. I realize that I haven't paid much attention to myself lately and that I probably needed it....blah blah blah...., but there are better ways to go about it.

I know who I am, but for some reason I am doubting it today.

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