Bless my office chair. It has been like a warm cupping friend to me for so long. Apparently I am getting a new computer soon, and with this change in technological seasons, I think I am going to make an effort to steal someone else's chair. I know a couple of people have snuck extra-special and extra-comfortable office chairs into their budgets, and so if...
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So here it is.. Sunday morning, and I again find myself parked at my desk, sitting in this temporary office asking whether construction will ever be complete. Everything is in flux. Maybe if I actually had a new computer at home I could be there, but then who would take care of all of these magical emergencies on a Sunday morning (when I should be...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
aster:
glad you liked cat casserole...i wonder how you found it the first time? 
bellensebastian:
I know. It may have been through browsing this site awhile back, but I swear it was in some strange place? To this day I still laugh about that diddy. One of those things. Bless the marriage of the internerd and creativity. I can only wait to have a functioning computer again.
This was part of my ponder tonight. I am going to purchase the parts to assemble my very first frankencomputer. I am far from the bispectacled computer assembler.. yet I think I can do good with 300$ and some parts. It will allow me to start with a good old fashion clean canv-ass. All of those home shoots can be put to disk and stored away for eons to pass and then one day i can look the dirty history up and laugh. Instead it just pains me to look at the fun and realize that there is this invisible glass wall between me and those times. It is not a bad thing. First the situation is only fairly scened out though. Ex girlfriend, with whom I mutually ended a long distance yet torrid relationship, and what was not really a long distance, but we are both so passionate, well she has moved into my neighborhood for four months. She is here on a work contract and lives literally 5 minutes from me. So there is like this glass wall between us. So close, and so far. For giant reasons we are apart so it just sucks but feels good. I swear somedays I feel like just buying a condo downtown or upping and moving somewhere other than ex central. This is probably why it will be healthy for me to perceive the ex ex and realize that they are just like healthy ghosts that are out there rattling chains. No biggie. Just pining a bit I guess.
Us weak-knee boys are the best hehe.
This was part of my ponder tonight. I am going to purchase the parts to assemble my very first frankencomputer. I am far from the bispectacled computer assembler.. yet I think I can do good with 300$ and some parts. It will allow me to start with a good old fashion clean canv-ass. All of those home shoots can be put to disk and stored away for eons to pass and then one day i can look the dirty history up and laugh. Instead it just pains me to look at the fun and realize that there is this invisible glass wall between me and those times. It is not a bad thing. First the situation is only fairly scened out though. Ex girlfriend, with whom I mutually ended a long distance yet torrid relationship, and what was not really a long distance, but we are both so passionate, well she has moved into my neighborhood for four months. She is here on a work contract and lives literally 5 minutes from me. So there is like this glass wall between us. So close, and so far. For giant reasons we are apart so it just sucks but feels good. I swear somedays I feel like just buying a condo downtown or upping and moving somewhere other than ex central. This is probably why it will be healthy for me to perceive the ex ex and realize that they are just like healthy ghosts that are out there rattling chains. No biggie. Just pining a bit I guess.
Us weak-knee boys are the best hehe.
Round III
I have come out of a steep contemplationalistic thing. Something of a mental journey while in the shower. I ran the hot water dry.. and my conclusion that arrived almost simultaneously with the freezing temperature. And there I am with no fucking towel again. Fuck. I had my robe.. but I like the comfort of the towel to accompany me.
I will tell...
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I have come out of a steep contemplationalistic thing. Something of a mental journey while in the shower. I ran the hot water dry.. and my conclusion that arrived almost simultaneously with the freezing temperature. And there I am with no fucking towel again. Fuck. I had my robe.. but I like the comfort of the towel to accompany me.
I will tell...
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Alright. So I am eating fish again.
Fish,
Taste like metal.
And a courier arrived. Now I have fresh flowers apparently, and nobody to thank. If it is my bosses, I will vomit. Outside of that, I dunno.
As for my profile name. Yes, they are my prozac for those certain slices of life where you are feeling like shit. I like to feel like...
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Fish,
Taste like metal.
And a courier arrived. Now I have fresh flowers apparently, and nobody to thank. If it is my bosses, I will vomit. Outside of that, I dunno.
As for my profile name. Yes, they are my prozac for those certain slices of life where you are feeling like shit. I like to feel like...
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Mom's birthday tomorrow. What do you get women that have everything?
I hate going to that shit town.
I hate going to that shit town.
belleandzek:
oh nice, belle and sebastian
Alright.. I am turning into a fucking slug. Slowly working my way into slime.
What is up with that. I need to figure out why the fuck I am justifying my compulsive dating mentality. Why the hell can't I imagine myself alone? It is like I am hurting from my last girlfriend.. but I am not. What am I missing. I need to figure my...
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What is up with that. I need to figure out why the fuck I am justifying my compulsive dating mentality. Why the hell can't I imagine myself alone? It is like I am hurting from my last girlfriend.. but I am not. What am I missing. I need to figure my...
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So again.. today I have found myself wondering what the hell I am doing.
I have a desire to do away with those loose ends that have consumed me for the last month.. and when i spoke with the ex ex, she is so sick that seeing me could literally kill her. Isn't that too melodramatic and scary. Jeepers. I want to just hold her...
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I have a desire to do away with those loose ends that have consumed me for the last month.. and when i spoke with the ex ex, she is so sick that seeing me could literally kill her. Isn't that too melodramatic and scary. Jeepers. I want to just hold her...
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So.. while the oven is warming and while I am contemplating how I will tackle dinner.. fish, a salad, I will have to make some salad dressing, some broiled yam.. and something else.. I shall steer the truck of emotions back towards ex girlfriends.
First, I must acknowledge that I need a fucking hobby that is so engrossing that I am not going to be...
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First, I must acknowledge that I need a fucking hobby that is so engrossing that I am not going to be...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
bellensebastian:
I have been resorting to the base-words lately. I guess it is the culmination of 10 years of girlfriends all at once. It is like a wild ride.. and it is thrilling.. and is definitely not a bad thing. ..yet I am still pretty whacked.
Is this the point where I pour myself into the corporate mold and just work alot?
I need the opposite word of "FUCK".
UNFUCK!!
Is this the point where I pour myself into the corporate mold and just work alot?
I need the opposite word of "FUCK".
UNFUCK!!
no:
Unfuck. I like that. Unfuck you! 
well.. enough of my moaning about my stupid choices in relationship scenarios and partners.. instead we will talk about my sore back.
it is like i am switching whining gears.. maybe i am so wound up that i have to let it all go in this journal.. ?? whatever.. it is not like i am ranting about politics (right now).
why the fuck can't my...
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it is like i am switching whining gears.. maybe i am so wound up that i have to let it all go in this journal.. ?? whatever.. it is not like i am ranting about politics (right now).
why the fuck can't my...
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no:
Ack! I have missed so many entries. I missed the chance to be bold and harsh and judgemental! I think I fit all three of your girl criteria, though I have sort of done b. and I think I am better at the communication thing now (well, at least I say what I am feeling...). I like your use of the work fuck. Such a good word for so many reasons.
More: I love stuff, to look at stuff, to find stuff, to appreciate stuff, to take little pieces of it home with me (petals, stones, etc). Um, what else. Guess I should get back to work!
a
More: I love stuff, to look at stuff, to find stuff, to appreciate stuff, to take little pieces of it home with me (petals, stones, etc). Um, what else. Guess I should get back to work!
a
no:
Hey thanks!!
Hi new friend.
My whine today: I have to take my work home with my today
. Maybe I'll buy some beer and set myself at the computer and that will make it less painful.
Hi new friend.
My whine today: I have to take my work home with my today
. Maybe I'll buy some beer and set myself at the computer and that will make it less painful.
alright.. so here is the situation..
one ex g/f is apparently not doing well (re: dying maybe??).. and that has freaked me out and led to many strange dreams at night.. i sent her an email today.. the first time we have spoken after a bad breakup over 3 years ago.
my most recent ex g/f is apparently not doing well financially or scholastically and...
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one ex g/f is apparently not doing well (re: dying maybe??).. and that has freaked me out and led to many strange dreams at night.. i sent her an email today.. the first time we have spoken after a bad breakup over 3 years ago.
my most recent ex g/f is apparently not doing well financially or scholastically and...
Read More