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bellensebastian

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Jun 29, 2004

Jun 29, 2004
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Jeepers.
My account still is apparently active. Active with an accent.

Where I am at?

Well.. it has been a long and fucking painful month.

The end result is this. I am now wireless throughout my apartment. That is news to me, and it was easy and not too expensive.
I have met a bunch of cool people. Though none are as permanent as I would like.

I rather scare people I think. My hermit skills are strong, and most people want to hang around Richard Simmons and Phil Donahue apparently.
(I give better advice).
The one person I met that I really like is a girl. She is such a very special person, but unfortunately I believe she is only looking for friends (translation: I would really like to ask her out, but I am not willing to sacrifice a friendship with one of the nicest humans I have ever met because I would like to have a nap and spoon with her lol)(dream scenario: she were to scrap her plans to move to UK and instead move in with me and design clothes and start her own store with my financial backing without ever feeling like she owes me a cent).

Anyhow.. I am a stupid romantic and I dream WAY too much.

My second assistant that I hired is a total dick. He is a lazy fuck who cannot bend his mind around the idea of a contract with a potential for a full-time job with a decent salary and benefits and perks and bonuses. I thought that the rules did not apply to the people that I hire, and that not everyone is a lazy fuck, but I guess that is how I get to where I am, and how others are taken to where they are.. me = hard work, they = navel gazers.

He will be terminated at the expiration of his contract and I will have to take on another ghetto fuck as a project. I just want someone who is hungry to make a buck and that has a decent head on their shoulders. Someone like me. I grew up dirt poor and nobody gave me jack. I took it all for myself and horde it like a dog with a bone (in my hermit way, hidden from view, looking at you through the bottom of my tipped glass of beer) ramble ramble fuck.

No.. the only thing I can think of is this incredibly nice and utterly beautiful girl. I have not fallen so far so fast in many years I think.

Sigh.

I know she is interested in meeting someone, but how do I know if it is me? She has indicated that the door to her heart is actually open to the right person. But she has also told me stories of creepy guys that hit on her and ruin the friendship zone.
I really just want to hold her hand and smell her hair. How gay am I (happy pride everyone). smile
bellensebastian:
alright. i re-read that and everyone i meet are girls.
i do not relate well to boys. i always want to lay a beating on boys during locker-room talk i think.
Jun 29, 2004

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