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bellensebastian

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday Feb 18, 2004

Feb 18, 2004
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Entirely all fucked up.

This is said after I left work at about 3pm. There indeed can be a thirsty first for everything. And I did forgo the squeezing of a bunch of oranges for juice, and slipped right into a 3 hour nap. Now, my head is confused. My brain does not know where it is. The schedule that normally dictates and responds to light patterns is weeping.

Still.. In my dream. In my dream there were hiding revelations in cryptic messages from a Freud. Well he was speaking for Maslow apparently.

Maslow described the hierarchy of needs.. the path to self-actualization.

Now I am understanding about sexual self-actualization. Without any doubt, I can say that I am naive and innocent. I am that wide-eyed dumbfuck that has been happy and lucky enough to partake in some interesting and wild sexual scenarios. I have also been fortunate, as you see, all of my partners, with the exception of one, have been great. They have been great partners in exploration and boundary breaking.

This has meant something to me. Now there is not that masturbatory lover. Instead I have the self-actualization sexual feeling.

What this seems to mean to me? That is what I have been puzzling over.

Temporary sex is out. Those base needs no longer are so easily grabbed. The base of the triangle.. is "interested", and then "aesthetics". For many obtuse beings, this is enough for fucking. I can't do it any more though. For me to be drooling and fucking and smiling with my eyes with penetration and licking, I have to have proceeded a bit further into the hierarchy. Aesthetics are fun, and having someone show interest is sexy, but "fucking hot" now has to include someone with a brain, someone with drive, someone who fucking gets it.

I guess call me picky, but A) I am not accepting calls from telemarketers because they have a prize, and B) I am not accepting any girl because she has a prize either.

I want fucking substance with my sex. The slow motion girl has a brain. blush

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