bellensebastian

Ugh.

a single 6 hour meeting has drained my cranium of all useful meaning.

a meeting with the ex gf turned up some strange questions. she came to visit me and mostly my cat. it was fun until she saw a pair of "panties" on my floor. it is actually not more than a couple of spaghetti strings and a thatch of sheer blue satin. a friend and i went shopping and had a fun fashion show. but her reaction was tears. given that it had been three years, her reaction was not expected.

"scott, imagine how i feel. the last time i saw you, those were my panties on the floor."

when she found out that my friend is 19, it was even worse i think.

dude (journal).. i need to avoid girls. complications always arise. do i complicate things? i am just being a fun friend and a gentleman. out of all of the males that i know, i am probably one of the most chivalrous and nice. among the most thoughtful.. i have learned my lessons in love and lost-love. treating a person as special makes me feel special. why should i shun that.. and why should i want mutually fun gratification from some individual?

a perfect partner would not have all of this grief. there would be no guilt. i am going to go and listen to sloan and belle and sebastian and go and see a friend's play. i hope she sings. she is such a cute girl. i have had a crush on this girl forever though.. and i dare not ever cross that line because she is the kind of girl that could crush me under her long high heel with so much ease. so beautiful.. such a writer.. such a fashion icon. instead i will just buy her flowers and comment on what i am assuming will be a magnificent preformance.

i am such a nerd and a dork. and then maybe if i am lucky and can get out of the office in time.. i will get to see a friend before she flies away to england. she is having an ultra hot friend over tonight too (to watch doh survivor).. a girl that i would love to hook up with.. sigh..

the boy that loved women. is that past tense ha.