bellensebastian

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"stagnation sucks when it enshrouds those that we love, and love sucks when it protects those that we hold dear from the harsh light of reality."

yes. it is an incredibily difficult thing to see someone who has a lot of potential just spiral downward. this isn't the first time i've put myself in this situation, but i'm hoping it will be the last.

thanks for the journal response. i was checking out yer profile...scar tissue huh? i know all about that. (if indeed you don't mean scars from physical accidents.)

the aim of my life over the past 2 years has been to keep my head up and not fall into old patterns. then i meet someone i jive with and now this. it's really tempting in moments as such to just go out and say FUCK IT. FUCK IT ALL.

i am hoping a good drunk tonite will clear me out a bit.

he is coming home later this afternoon and he pretty much stated that we either work shit out today or it's done. so i sit here and wait. and smoke. and drink coffee. and think.

the thinking is the worst of it. i have resolved to not raise my voice and, if he begins verbal attacks as a defense mechanism (which is common), i will not fly off the handle. i am liquid. tranquil.

yer from toronto, eh? do you ever listen to the constantines? i like them.

anyway, nice to meet you, (sorta, i guess) and if ya don't mind, i'll add ya to my friend list since you were so very kind to take all that time to read my journal entry and respond with nice words.

time for another coffee and smoke. cheers.