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bellensebastian

Member Since 2004

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Saturday Jan 24, 2004

Jan 24, 2004
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Round III

I have come out of a steep contemplationalistic thing. Something of a mental journey while in the shower. I ran the hot water dry.. and my conclusion that arrived almost simultaneously with the freezing temperature. And there I am with no fucking towel again. Fuck. I had my robe.. but I like the comfort of the towel to accompany me.

I will tell the ex to stop calling and I will give her a deadline of April before I cut her off of any assistance. Then she will have left the neighborhood and city. The distance and time will give me my sanity.

The ex ex I shall communicate with. She needs a shoulder to cry on and a worried objective ear to listen. That is the least that I owe her. Maybe we can be friends again? No expectations other than a cup of tea and a smile.

The beautiful artist smart ass. She is a good friend. She has alot of shit to do. And I can't pretend there is not anything, but I have to set a definition as to how far that can go. There is no way I can let her get upset by my ridiculousness. She is fragile and genious. Give her a friend.

Enough with the running around. Time to be quiet, thoughtful, introspective, creative and wise. It is like I have to get back with that philosophy of not pushing away, not controlling, and just letting go for awhile. Afford myself the luxury of doing nothing but shopping, reading and finding some nice art. Everyone else can stay away from the brooding smile and thoughtful eyes.

Just remember it tomorrow LOL. I was told by one of my beautiful cyber-nemisis.. or is nemisi? ..whatever.. she wants me to write this on my hand. I think I should get it tatooed along with the Thinker across my stomach ha. I say that nervously to myself, but I know it is true.

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