bellensebastian

So again.. today I have found myself wondering what the hell I am doing.

I have a desire to do away with those loose ends that have consumed me for the last month.. and when i spoke with the ex ex, she is so sick that seeing me could literally kill her. Isn't that too melodramatic and scary. Jeepers. I want to just hold her hand and talk to her and share her pain and make her better. She is such a nice and kind person.

and the recent ex.. Well we at least talked. I have decided that I have to stop saving the world though.. and stop giving her whatever she asks for. It is time for me. This has come through the advice of my brain, and my two cyber-nemesis'. I am fortunate to have two beautiful women that I have known online for 3 years.. I have never met them.. only via webcam.. and they are both so damn smart for their years. And they both offerred the exact same diagnosis for my dilemma.. the same one that I contemplated yet am not brave enough to enact.

And my artist muse.. the beautiful 19 year old girl.. presented me with a painting. she is such a beautiful person. i am glad that we are working through the idea of being just friends.

today = laundry day.