bellachichi

things couldnt get more fucked up. i feel crushed and ripped apart. what the fuck did i do to deserve this. i am in love with a agressive drunk. i dont know. things get so hard when people alter drastically when they are retarded drunk. all these issues come out in the most fucking aggressive way yelling and screaming and insane fucking.
im confused
im fucking tired cause i have had NO sleep/. none .
im fucking broke cause i spent 80 fucking dollars on cab fares last night going from FUCKING northgate and back to newfarm over and over again.
i dont want to be here at work.

how do people be married how do people make relationships work ... its too hard too much bullshit and drama. i cant handle it . im not good at it. i just wish two people could fuck and hang together without the intermingled lives and bullshit without the jealousy and the sacfrice.
christ luke is so difficult. he has a totally different personality when he is drunk. and i am so defensive and protective of myself that i retaliate so it turns into a big explosion of emotions. his pissed of at me for this one thing i did which im not too sure was even that fucking bad.
so what if i've have slept with a boy that is now one of my closest friends. luke your not the only boy in the world with a dick. he is pissed off because i visited a friend in another town that i have slept with and he didnt know that years ago i had had sex with him a few times


i dont think that i can get through this day.
why cant there be switched that turn off your emotions and turn them back on when they are needed. humans are strange.creatures.

i have been to the gym all week. i need my car back so that i can get there. please be ready today.

A change or development in your career occurs at this time. You are likely to take a step that will allow you to do things that are more meaningful to you and more appropriate for you at this time. MY STAR SIGN TODAY.

this is before the events of last night turned sour.