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bella_donna

Michigan

Member Since 2004

Followers 40 Following 90

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Saturday Jan 07, 2006

Jan 6, 2006
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not much new to report..life has been pretty calm biggrin so i guess thats not a bad thing so instead i'll post something that had me falling out of my chair

Chuck Norris
apparently he has a cult that makes web pages dedicated to these lil' phrases.

the world is an odd place!!!

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays baseball he hits a homerun every time by roundhouse kicking the baseball. He then procedes to fuck all the girls in the stadium with his beard.

Chuck once got shot in the head. He then proceeded to surgically remove the bullet with his beard as foreceps and then ate it because his daily iron count was low.

Ice isnt cold water, its water that is scared still by Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norriss wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, Dont worry about it honey, and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, Never question Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

If you look at Chuck Norris while he is smiling, your entire family will get AIDS.

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chucks tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.

Chuck Norris can actually breath fire.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norriss records.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt

and my favorite
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


biggrin biggrin biggrin
well im off to go make some clean clothes YAY i wont smell like a dirty hippie anymore tongue
kiss
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
infinity:
haha nice i liked reading that biggrin
Jan 7, 2006
giggles:
I love clean clothes especially toasty sweaters right out of the dryer on a cold night
Jan 7, 2006

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