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belarosebud

Los Angeles, California

Member Since 2010

Followers 326 Following 330

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Monday Feb 04, 2013

Feb 4, 2013
2
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Having a change of heart since my last post...here's what I say about them Birthday Blues

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


They can kiss my ASS!!


Oh I can't wait to do some more photo shoots way up HIGH, how I like to be! I know some pretty amazing views and spots, but they aren't always easy to get to. I love busting missions and highking! I could just walk in those mountains forever love There's nothing I truly love more than the feeling of being engulfed by nature, something pure, untouched and magnificent. Love seeing all the SG sets outdoors! True beauty, that's how I do!

Summer time is mania time! I have yet to get the help I need in respects to my mental health, but I have a man who will stick by my side forever, til death do us part and we don't need marriage to invoke that feeling because it's already there. I'm on the road to discovery still and though I've come very far, I still have so much more to go. I don't know if I have Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar but after realizing a few aspects about myself after all these years, I believe it may be Bipolar disorder. I know where it comes from and how it worsened in my life.

When I begin feeling down and sad or let things get to me that obviously shouldn't, I've had my boss tell me "move forward, move forward" and my boyfriend always tells me, "stuck is stuck and forward is unstuck".

So simple, yet so difficult. I dwell, I cry, I indulge, my heads in the clouds a lot, I play the martyr, I am the victim, I don't see the future nor my past clearly, which is why I try to regress but that only makes these horrible emotions and roles and personalities come forth and take over like I've never known before.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. I have so much more to say, I always do, but there is just never any time..time is what get's me, my anxiety especially. I worry, panic, fear and become desolate..but I fight against it every day and know one day this battle will be over.



skull
Bela Rose

lord_renob:
Self acceptence is a powerful thing. Kick those blues off the highest peak you can reach!
Feb 4, 2013
ihsv1683:
"self doubt and selfism were the cheapest thing I ever bought".......

keep strong!

lovely view , by the way!wink
Feb 4, 2013

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