bekiii

I have come to realise that when you are female, everything in life is some sort of competition (as, I suppose it is for the boys)

We collect moments and events and subconsciously turn them into a system of points. It starts small; perhaps hell compliment you, maybe hell buy you a drink. The man will probably have no idea that this is being stored and totted up. The information will be revealed to other female friends (competitors) any conversation with the opposite sex will be replayed and filtered for importance no matter how small.

Moving on slightly. Having sex with the object of your affections is a wonderful thing indeed and will score very highly on the chart, however, it is easily eclipsed by anything that is considered romantic. A bunch of flowers, a handwritten letter, a drawing, a mix tape, a non-sexual gesture of deep affection will win out over a quick shag any day.

A sincere declaration of love will almost always win you the game. Especially if he said it first.

If you mention love and are ignored or diverted, you have lost. This takes your score right back down to zero.

Successful girls will carry trophies in the way that a seasoned soldier would display medals. Necklaces, bracelets and of course, rings will separate the most worthy daters from the tokenless wannabes. Jewellery from ex boyfriends is only permitted if it is especially beautiful or expensive (normally this would be considered cheating and no bonus points are awarded)

Anniversaries are special times, anything up to a few years is rewarded. After a couple of years the relationship is considered stable, therefore easy and no longer part of the competition.

Points will be deducted for any unnecessary smirking or general smugness. The aim of the game is to use feminine charm and grace to outdo your competitors, not to distract them from the game by bashing their self confidence.

So, you see it is all very complicated. And of course, it is never spoken about!

Shhhhhhhhhh.