beestealer

K... Maybe my sentimental, overly romantic, cinema description of current events in the last blog glossed over the main points of my situation this season. Said romantic engagement is a 20yr old single mother of one daughter, a sweet toddler named Odette. This was one of the last things she told me into our 3rd/4th meet, for obvious reasons, people I can imagine would judge you on different terms with this knowledge in mind... I stress, 'for obvious reasons'. We do really get on and I do like her company, but this makes the whole equation for care free romantic endevour ever so unbalanced towards 'not so very care free'.

The other point is that there is another girl I really have feelings for, probably more so. I also know she really likes me to, but we both flirt and get ever so close to just ripping each others clothes off, but find it hard to connect coz we're part of the same large friends group and it would all be a bit 'Monica and Chandler'. On top of this she is a student and I kinda feel if I had to give her up next summer it might really hurt me. This pain from commitment is something I've been avoiding all year (I'm still JD circa Sacred Heart Hospital about my ex if I'm really honest).

I'm more inclined to be passive and have a relationship with said MILF, she really likes me and is making an effort to make me happy/comfortable. It's nice to feel chased and a bit desired I haven't been in awhile and it flatters my ego (that's an ugly truth - ED). The thing is I don't really like her as much as I like 'Monica' and reason I'm inclined to go with 'MILF' is that I may find it easier to call things off when the time comes...

This is my twatness: Taking the easy road where I might hurt someone else. Rather than taking the hard road that might get me hurt.

I've never been in a situation like this... I'm pretty sure I've never been desirable before and I can't handle choice. When ladies approach me in conversation at clubs, I stammer and blush alot, which doesn't seem to help. I just want to be able to say 'I have a girlfriend I love dearly, sorry', which to me seems a strange thing to think when I'm single and talking to women.