I was really sure that once I got to Ohio, everything would be fine. Something in me told me that the sweetness of being home would make everything better and for so long all had played out so well...
She might leave me...
I'm not supposed to know that, but damn, now that I know... All I want to do is love her, tell her...
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She might leave me...
I'm not supposed to know that, but damn, now that I know... All I want to do is love her, tell her...
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The past couple of days have seemed to fly by... it all went so quickly...
My sanity problems (obviously as I write this from the comfort of my sister's house in Ohio) left me far behind after that last storm. We managed to get a long what seemed like wonderfully for the last few days, mingled with flu-spawned indifference. Funny how a 100 degree fever...
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My sanity problems (obviously as I write this from the comfort of my sister's house in Ohio) left me far behind after that last storm. We managed to get a long what seemed like wonderfully for the last few days, mingled with flu-spawned indifference. Funny how a 100 degree fever...
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I think I felt my sanity slip away last night. Every new word he said killed me deeper and deeper until my mind felt blank and raw. The tiny shreads of trust I'd clung to so hard were snapped beneath my fingers and I just fell. I awoke this morning hard and cold (figuratively and physical, damn those couch cushions freeze...). I can't bring myself...
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The depression sprinkled weekend is finally over and it seems like things may start going back in an upward direction. It's obvious that things are not ok in my brain and probably won't be for a long time, but as things fall back into their neat little spaces, it calms me slowly. The oncoming star that is this weekend and my home call to me...
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beeg:
peggy you are crazy. love youself, thats all you can do.
remember that from all of the darkness you will emerge a stronger person than you have ever imagined you could be. keep focused on your goals, shy from the mistakes of your past, remember the people who love you but dont dwell in the past. know that the actions you carry out today shape the woman that you grow into, and they do this every day.
know that all that has transpired so far has already happened and you cant change it, but that situations that unfold in the next chapter can yield irreversible consequences and you control wether you laugh or cry when you look back on them.
good luck, peggy. move on and do the right thing. most importantly: be happy, be confident. you are a smart, beautiful girl, and you can have whatever you want out of this life. go out and get it, and dont let distractions take your eyes off the prize.
i know that the past hasnt always led you to be the most trusting. it is good for you to be more on guard than you were before this whole mess started, but it is important to remember that you cant get through this alone.
go on, peggy, go out there and show them all what you are made of.
remember that from all of the darkness you will emerge a stronger person than you have ever imagined you could be. keep focused on your goals, shy from the mistakes of your past, remember the people who love you but dont dwell in the past. know that the actions you carry out today shape the woman that you grow into, and they do this every day.
know that all that has transpired so far has already happened and you cant change it, but that situations that unfold in the next chapter can yield irreversible consequences and you control wether you laugh or cry when you look back on them.
good luck, peggy. move on and do the right thing. most importantly: be happy, be confident. you are a smart, beautiful girl, and you can have whatever you want out of this life. go out and get it, and dont let distractions take your eyes off the prize.
i know that the past hasnt always led you to be the most trusting. it is good for you to be more on guard than you were before this whole mess started, but it is important to remember that you cant get through this alone.
go on, peggy, go out there and show them all what you are made of.
Do me a favor and glace overhead at that beautiful redhead up there and tell me for a second what in the world is going wrong when someone like her can tell me I'm cute?? *big grin* Not that I'm complaining... Nothing makes me happier than a gorgeous girl (tatts always help, lol) that pays some attention to me...
Grad week starts tomorrow and I'm...
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Grad week starts tomorrow and I'm...
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It's finally Friday and I'm definitely ready for the weekend. This week has been incredibly emotional and the upcoming week will no doubt be worse, so I'm hoping to use this weekend as an escape from this and an early escape from the oncoming emotional slaughterhouse.... I'm afraid...
I've noticed more and more latley how much the Navy has changed me. Pictures of me from...
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I've noticed more and more latley how much the Navy has changed me. Pictures of me from...
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drewember:
You are such a cutie! muah** 
New picture...radness...
Yesterday was going along fine and well, got home from work, changed and buried myself in the gorgeous SGs as usual, when I ran across an unfamiliar face. It wasn't more than seconds before I was in love...
Malloreigh... and I died...
But I finally came out to the bf on my questionable sexuality yesterday and, like all guys who don't just think the bi...
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Malloreigh... and I died...
But I finally came out to the bf on my questionable sexuality yesterday and, like all guys who don't just think the bi...
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OOohhh, journal time. Been forever, so this is gonna be the big put-it-all-down one...
Doing the military thing down in SC (temporarily) and loving it like no other. A mechanic w/ the education just short of a degree in nuclear mechanics... how can you beat that??!! Getting ready to get sent away to the USS Enterprise outta Norfolk, Va. It's gonna be great??
Personal life...
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Doing the military thing down in SC (temporarily) and loving it like no other. A mechanic w/ the education just short of a degree in nuclear mechanics... how can you beat that??!! Getting ready to get sent away to the USS Enterprise outta Norfolk, Va. It's gonna be great??
Personal life...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cdt21:
Yeah, welcome and *deep respect* for a female mechanic. Wow and onto the USS Enterprise, that's some ship 
I got new glasses and *no one* noticed
I got new glasses and *no one* noticed
beeg:
Muchas gracias, man. Being a meck-a-nick rocks...What do you know about the ship?? Anything I should know before I end up there??
I love my new glasses, I think they make me look a bit young (check the pic, you'd probably guess me 16 or something...) but they're awesome anyhow...
I love my new glasses, I think they make me look a bit young (check the pic, you'd probably guess me 16 or something...) but they're awesome anyhow...